


The Lie, The Wish, and The Secret

by MagicalLove12



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxious Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders Angst, Protective Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, inconsistent updates, perceptive janus| Janus Sanders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26538337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalLove12/pseuds/MagicalLove12
Summary: Patton is hurting from the wedding and because of reasons he loses his memory... The others don't realize that he doesn't remember them until one evening...Not sure which if any ships there will beI'll add tags for the ship(s) if the story goes in that directionHope you enjoy!
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	The Lie, The Wish, and The Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings- Self deprecation and thing that seems like attempting suicide but isn't.  
> Also memory loss. Pretty sure that's it. Feel free to let me know if I missed anything.
> 
> Also irregular updates
> 
> I have no idea what this is and I'm so sorry, I have no idea if I'll continue it. If you'd like to read more lemme know and uh we'll see where this goes.

Patton peaked though the doorway before adjusting his cardigan. Only Logan, Virgil, and Roman were in the room. He could handle this. Things had been rocky between all of the sides since the wedding. Patton didn't quite know where he stood with any of them. On the other hand without Janus and Remus there, the others would be more likely to avoid fighting for the afternoon. Adjusting his cardigan, Patton skipped into the room, "Who wants to go dancing?"  
Logan glanced up from his book with exasperation, "I'm sorry... what?"  
"Dancing!"  
"...I don't want to deal with this right now.I am busy, at the moment"  
Patton's smile faltered as he scanned the others' reactions to see if they were thinking the same thing. They appeared to want to avoid him too. He couldn't really blame them. They had so much work to do and he was just being a bother. "Oh okay. That's alright! I'll go make some food for breakfast tomorrow then."  
Patton made his way into the kitchen and poured pancake batter onto the hot griddle. The batter itself wasn't appealing but the aroma and motions of his baking always brought him a little comfort. Baking had a strange sense of familiarity that he found himself missing. Patton opened a drawer to grab out a spatula to flip the pancake with. In his motions, Patton caught underside of his arm just below the elbow on the hot pan. Patton jumped, biting back a yelp. It was burning, it was really, really burning! His hand covered the mark as if that would make the pain go away. At least it wasn't as bad as the heartbreak he felt, sure he felt a little dizzy but at least he wasn't.. When did he get onto the floor? Why was his arm leaking a blue substance??? That can't be normal! He had regular red blood just like Thomas?!?! Patton gasped for air as bolts of pain were sent throughout his entire body. Normal burns don't do this! What's going on?!  
Patton needed to get someone's attention, he was getting scared but he doubted whether or not they would come. "Hello?" He called out. No response, maybe some clattering? He couldn't tell, all of his senses were blurring together. He's skin was burning and yet he couldn't stop shivering.  
Doubts, things he had suppressed for years began to bubble to the surface.  
Unnecessary  
hovering  
unloved  
annoying  
selfish  
BAD PERSON  
no no no no no no no no no no  
Sure he made some.. okay a lot of mistakes, but he was doing better! He.. He was making an effort to leave the others alone. He wouldn't hug the others or have mandatory family nights.. just family nights that the others probably felt obligated to go to. But surely they wouldn't really come if they didn't want to, right? Or maybe he's making them feel even worse than before. He made Virgil feel uncomfortable, he annoyed Logan- no matter what he did, and Roman acted as if everything was alright but it couldn't be after the wedding. Patton hurt him and has no idea how to fix it. Maybe if I didn't care about them I could do my job more easily. "AAAAAHH," What was that feeling?! Patton's entire body trembled as his breathing sped up. He couldn't do this he couldn't leave his famILY he...  
They don't love you.  
Patton knew. He didn't want to believe it.. but he knew. They'd be better off without him.  
He thought one last thing as he somehow realized what was about to happen,"Okay, just take care of them."  
The pain grew more and more intense until Patton blacked out. Patton awoke to the cries of his fellow sides. They were in the living room and Janus was yelling something about self preservation while Logan was going over ever medical fact he knew. Why were they upset? This wouldn't do, the sides needed to be content for him to feel good morally and that would allow for them to all work better and improve Thomas's life. Shaken eyes met Patton's, Virgil was sitting in a chair directly infront of Patton and to the left of Logan and Janus. Patton's eyes immediately flitted away, why did guilt surge through him? Virgil was suddenly at his side, "What happened? Are you okay?" "Perfectly fine," He needed to remember to be polite, "thank you." Patton thought the Virgil's worry was resolved but the suspicion in Virgil's expression proved him wrong, "Are you sure? Is there anything I can do?" Virgil paused, "Wait what exactly happened?" "Yes, thank you. I burnt myself." Patton decided to leave out the fact that he had no memories of the others excluding ones that defined his purpose. So he basically knew how to care for each aspect of Thomas's personality but was clueless to their interests and any inside jokes they would've shared.. but that didn't matter. Patton did, as a matter of fact, remember his reasoning for erasing his memory. He remembered that his memories caused him pain and that he would serve his purpose better without them. He would make do, they would never have to know of his memory loss. "Padre?" Patton looked around for the voice before his gaze landed on Roman. He appeared to be addressing Patton. The creative side looked so small as he hugged himself in his fragile mental state. Pulling off a blanket Patton hadn't realized was in his lap, Patton made his way over to the prince, "Let's get you to bed, okay?" Roman merely nodded as he wrapped his arms protectively around the glasses wearing side. Warmth flooded Patton's senses but he brushed it off, he had lost the his memories of them, he knew that so he shouldn't feel for them. He was probably just experiencing the need to care for them since, in a way, that is part of his job. As Roman released him, Patton quickly realized that the shouting from before had stopped and the room was eerily quiet. "Patton?" A voice asked as the moral side flinched involuntarily, he must've told them his name." Logan took a step forward, "Have you any idea what occurred today?" Patton shook his head, shifting his weight from foot to foot as the focus of the room fell on him. Logan scanned him before opening his mouth and closing it as if he decided against speaking. "What are you doing," Janus questioned. "Taking Roman to his room, he needs some rest." Virgil looked at him as if he lost his mind, "You just passed out for six hours for reasons that we don't know and you're worrying about Roman?" Virgil took what looked like was supposed to be a calming breath but it barely kept him from raising his voice, "Patton we don't even know if you're okay and you want to play family to take care of us? Let us care for you for once." Patton was stuck his instincts told him to help Roman but he didn't know what his past self would do in this situation or what he should do in this situation. Logan unknowingly solved his internal struggle, "Virgil, I agree however preventing Patton from acting as his nature urges him to could also be harmful. His arm has stopped- for lack of better wording- "leaking" so he should be in stable enough condition to travel short distances." Logan made eye contact with Janus for a moment longer than necessary as if trying to convey something to him but Patton didn't notice. Virgil let out a small huff, "Okay, fine but I'm coming with you." Patton sent a grateful look Virgil's way, something about him was just so endearing. Roman reluctantly reached out for Patton's hand and Patton intertwined them, everything was going to be okay.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everything was not okay. Patton was still leaking but that didn't make any sense! The blue fluid or whatever was his memories or something? He didn't know but it was a part of him and losing more of it probably wasn't good. Patton unwrapped the gauze from his arm and threw it away before rewrapping the wound with fresh gauze. The others had been checking on him quite often and it was pretty sweet, he would've liked a little time alone, but it was sweet. He supposed he was doing a great job at acting like the old Patton until one night at a family dinner. Virgil and Janus were making slightly awkward small talk as Roman and Logan passed out the food they had made. Janus had mentioned someone Patton hadn't recalled hearing of before. Patton forgot his cover of pretending to remember everything and asked about it the moment his curiosity said to. Virgil gave Patton a chuckle before turning back to Janus who was eyeing the freckled side differently. Patton realized his mistake and hoped Janus would let it go but he didn't. "Oh hardy har-har, you remember Remus don't you, dear?" Patton gave the most convincing look he could, "Yep!" Janus's eye's narrowed, "Like how you know me?" "Yep!" "and Roman," Janus waited for Patton to respond so Patton repeated his affirmation. Virgil rolled his eyes, "Dee I'm pretty sure he remembers all of us. It's not like he's been living with us for forever." Janus directed his attention back to Patton, "Can you repeat what he said for me?" Now Patton was confused, "What do you mean?" "Say that you remember all of us." Recognition flashed through Virgil's eyes and Patton felt like he was in a trap he couldn't see, "I remember all of you." Virgil looked at Janus for confirmation but he just shook his head, "Logan, come here!" Logan was caught off guard by the urgency in his tone but made his way back over. "Something's wrong with Patton." At those words, Roman, who hadn't left Patton's side for very long since he woke up, frantically jumped into the conversation, "What do you mean?"


End file.
